


Seven Levels of Minty-Freshness

by 3amepiphany



Series: 25 Days of WOYmas [7]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amepiphany/pseuds/3amepiphany
Summary: My state's DOT likes to have fun with the highway signs during the holidays and there was one this year south of where I live that said "Welcome to Candy Cane Forest. 7th Level." It popped up on the highway traffic map bc I was watching our winter storm and it made me smile.





	

**Author's Note:**

> http://omegalovaniac.tumblr.com/post/154748810999/day-16-candy-canes-i-had-no-idea-what-to-do-with

“Peppermint Bark,” explained Wander, “comes from the peppermint trees.”

The kids looked up at him as if he were crazy. Then they all looked down at the pieces of the confection he’d broken apart and shared with them. Argos was cautiously crunching away at the bite he had taken. It was dark, dark chocolate, with a thin, glossy layer of peppermint laid right on top of it. And it was good, but that answer wasn’t quite what they were looking for when they had asked why it was called bark.

Peepers had gone bark collecting once, when he was just a little bit older than they were, and he nodded. “It’s the truth.”

Iris took another bite and stared at her dad like he was crazier than Uncle Wander.

Wander wrapped up the rest of the treat and put it away in the Hat, and clapped his hands together. “So! Most planets in this galaxy have peppermint on them, but almost the whole kit and caboodle only ever lets it grow bushy and small, or only ever sees it as such. The leaves on young peppermint are still very potent and tasty, but the trees, golly. They take such a long time to mature and sappify and crystalize and solidize and stripe up all pretty, but there are some places around that let them do that specially, so that they can harvest that bark and make specially special things out of it. And I so happen to know a fella that can show us exactly how that’s done.”

The munching and crunching had stopped, and the little zbornaks and the tinier watchdog were hooked entirely on this story, and little smiles finally appeared at the thought that they’d get to go see this silly thing happen and be very, very real.

Peepers was excited, too. Three times over Hater had won and lost one of the larger planets known for its peppermint forests, simply because of its valuable export, and not once had they ever been able to go down to the surface and take that process in. Such a shame. But now was a pretty good chance to do it, being so close to that planet again and with everyone in tow to make it a fun trip.

Sylvia made sure everyone was as bundled up as they could be, because there was snow, snow, snow, everywhere, and as they approached the little cabin on the edge of the forest they’d landed outside of, they could smell hot coffee brewing, and see stacks and stacks of rolled peppermint bark stored safely inside the small barn-like structure next to the home. The front door opened, and out came a big, wooly Bosmutus, waving at them. “Hello, hello,” he said, welcoming them in and getting them settled in with some of that fresh coffee, and cocoa for the kids.

Grunny had been a steward for the collection teams for many years, and being so far out in the boondocks he had no idea that Mentha Epsilon had been so sought after and fought over back in the day. There really weren’t many settlements there, and while they were a good source of frostonium, they had no hints of volcanium x at all and so had been entirely passed over by The End, as that had been called.

He knew Wander and Sylvia well, and hadn’t known much of Hater and Peepers to ever form an opinion on them until here and now.

He liked them. Hater asked just as many questions as the kids did, and Grunny knew that he could be a really good barker if he got out there and wanted to take a swing at it. And he wanted to, clearly.

“We recently found a grove of trees that grew in green,” Grunny said. “It’s a bit too far in to take all of you without packs and such, but I have enough of that bark in storage that I can send you all home with some of it. The area I want to take you to is mostly red, with a patch of blueberry.” He explained that if a tree or few grew in near a patch of something else or was cultivated to be such, it would take on the flavors of whatever it was mingling with. These ones weren’t the all-over blue like the commercially grown blueberry peppermint trees, but they had that stark white with deep, dark blue stripes the color of wild blueberries, and the bark still had a bit of that minty taste to it, it wasn’t grown out of it. “Wild variations are the best surprises.”

To harvest peppermint bark was easy: One finds a tree that looks big and sturdy and has a good, dull bark, the duller the bark on the outside, the thicker it is. A small spike is hammered into the length of the tree’s trunk at intervals, and the spike should be just a little bit sticky on the end, a little bit of the oils and sugars leaking from those spike holes. The piece of bark is then pried off easily in one piece, or uneasily in chunks that could go on to be processed into crumbles and sprinkles. To process it for storage until it can be bought, it’s slowly and carefully heated up over a bonfire outside and gently flattened until it can be rolled up, cooled down again, and then stacked like a cord of firewood, then bundled and sold as needed. The bigger the rolls, the better the take, but even the smaller rolls of peppermint bark were very valued and desired. The crumbles, sprinkles, and dust were sold cheaply and in large quantities.

The tree Grunny chose to show them first had a big fat red stripe and a couple of small red ones on either side spiralling down its trunk. Skillfully, he cracked away at the bark, tested it to see that it was ready to take, and then took a big, thin and long spatula-lookin tool and used that to pry the chunk of bark off and away. It came a little easier than he expected, and the wet, sugary sap on the surface of the tree’s exposed trunk solidified pretty quickly in the cold.

The kids were absolutely enthralled by this, and they all looked at Uncle Wander, who gave them a really big smile.

Grunny handed Hater the hammer and spike, and said, “Alright. Your turn.”


End file.
